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Wednesday, October 12, 2005

( life during O's @ 3:17 AM )

less than 20 days to olvl.. i don't feel any pressure... but all i feel is being sucked into a vortex of despair... i feel so demoralised.. joel got 13 pts.. me? 22 pts.. see the contrast of the situation.. probably i haven't been putting in enough effort... using the computer at wee hours... not sleeping and going to school or being on time.
sad is sad, however i've noticed the blessings God has poured on me. my relationship with the class is slightly better... daddy pay is increased... and i don't feel the burden of olvls.. wow.! counting my daily blessings is a real lift up... i feel happier already... God is surely good to bless me though i have not been putting him first.. been trying to put my act together and start building up my prayer life once more..
james, he is in a mess.. well, according to him... he has been taken out frm being a cg helper coz he ain't doing well.. bro pierre sensed it and talked to him.. im glad he did... =) james said he'll never leave CHC and told me not too... i wonder if the same edwin situation will happen again.. i hope not... leaving it all to God.
Btw, i talked to edwin.. he ain't coming back.. im not gonna probe any further as i believe if he is ready to tell me then he will.. so i shall just wait.. another thing is that apprantly my relationship with xenia, jj, elyn and jamin has been strained. we don't talk much anymore and that deeply saddens me greatly.
Life changes rapidly as the end of the world comes.. disasters one after another keeps coming continually with 2-3 months in between... what is the world becoming to now? i wonder much.. still i face critics who do not understand christianity and continually give me the looks. i daren't share and talk. it seems my confidence flies whenever i want to share the gospel. oh well..
well, its late... 3am in the morning... tomorrow i've got to get to sch on time or else tchers are going to be very unhappy... especially ms sheila.. can't be blamed... they are after all, still teachers keeping their jobs.



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