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The child Age: School: Birthday: About you: previous posts haiyo.! YAY! lala 2oo6 - new chapter have i made e right decision? my thoughts are all ... Reflections njc njc njc njc njc njc njc njc... shld i or not..... prom is over.. yea, offically graduated... oh well... hahah.. its 2 am and i am still not slping... gt m... past Jun 20, 2005 Jun 22, 2005 Jun 23, 2005 Jun 25, 2005 Jun 30, 2005 Jul 7, 2005 Jul 9, 2005 Jul 15, 2005 Jul 18, 2005 Aug 21, 2005 Aug 22, 2005 Aug 28, 2005 Aug 30, 2005 Aug 31, 2005 Sep 3, 2005 Oct 12, 2005 Oct 14, 2005 Oct 24, 2005 Nov 1, 2005 Nov 3, 2005 Nov 4, 2005 Nov 8, 2005 Nov 14, 2005 Nov 29, 2005 Nov 30, 2005 Jan 12, 2006 Jan 4, 2007 Jan 6, 2007 Jan 14, 2007 Jan 15, 2007 links link link link link link
Shouts Credits Base code:OHsaygoodbye Image: sxc.hu |
Tuesday, November 01, 2005 ( @ 11:50 PM ) no faith that i will do well for o's... jux felt horrible when i tink about my results... a num of ppl have faith in me... Ms Nora, Jem, SH, mc, sis jo.... however touched i am, i dun see myself changing.. its as if im waiting for something so serious to happen den i will change.. x.x why i will feel this way? its because of wad someone said... 'its ok if u do well and go jc or poly or even ite... as long as u jux take care of urself.. im happy already..' it made me feel so small.!! it makes me feel that he wan me nt to succeed.. one sentence can make a big diff rite? though i go out wit certain ppl often, i can't share anything wit them... only mc.. but he will nt be thr fer me soon, even now.. haii i jux bottle up every single thing in my heart.. hopefully it will nt burst but omosis will happen... i look ard me n i feel so damm inferior.. esp gg out wit elyn and xen... i jux feel damm small.!! damm.. grt.! nw im jealous.. jux because i feel tt im nt beautiful at all... heckx.. wadeva la.. let it all go.. sometimes i wonder wad would have happened if i jux played softball n nt go church... i will have fewer frenx, bigger in size, less conscious of my looks and nt feel all that left out.. [tt haven't changed] i still feel like im jux a blackie among the whities.. i try ever so hard to prove myself.. acadamically and in sports.. however, no matter hw much effort i put in, nth happens... so many ppl are moving in their lives and getting blessed by god.. me? stagnent in this black hole of darkness.. i try hard but nth.. being me huh? nahx.. i dun even noe who am i.! hw to be me liaox? low self-esteem... haha.. though i always seem so 'up' but nahx.. life never goes according to how u want it to be. esp when u desire for it. but living and face it takes tremendous courage. letting nature take its course? yea.. dun force it.! 0 comments |